Unpopular opinion

Saul didn’t change.

Saul was so zealous for God that he killed the heretical Christians. God gave him a solid correction about a gross error in his doctrine, and to his credit he listened. Then Paul spent the rest of his years zealous for the Living God’s corrected doctrine.

So no, Saul didn’t ‘change’ he simply received Godly doctrine correction.

Many with abusive or narcissistic (npd) spouses will pray for God “to change him like Saul”. I want to challenge that there is a better and more powerful way to prayer. First, though, I must point out the lie in this is faulty doctrine. Praying this way has no power. Praying “God renew my mind like Saul and remove any faulty doctrine from me”, that’s a solid prayer. One way to do that is by reading about Saul/Paul in His Word, this is what brings transformation in Christ, as He is the Word made flesh.

I think more along the lines of Pharaoh when dealing with someone with npd. Corrected for a time, but they don’t want to lose control, so God steps in and removes the oppressed that are calling out to Him. I have sufferened at that hands of some very adpt NPD, and work with many would are wounded wives, so I have a huge amount of empathy and sympathy for what the victims are walking through. I hope this brings some freedom and release, the let them have their free will, and for you to act on yours.

I want to encourage you, if you have been praying the ‘change them to Paul/Saul prayer) that there is a much more restful way to pray. The best tool for npd spouse is simply bless them, and this is scripturally sound. (Do not hear what I am not saying, I have never advocated for anyone staying in abuse, Jesus did not die for us to be abused.)

• Luke 6:28: “Bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.”
• Matthew 5:44: “But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”
• Romans 12:14: “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.”
• Proverbs 25:21-22: “If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. By doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.”

(Do not hear what I am not saying, I have never advocated for anyone staying in abuse, Jesus did not die for us to be abused.)

In Summary:

And whatever house you enter, first say, ‘Peace be to this house.’ 6 And if a man of peace is there, your peace will rest upon him; but if not, it will return to you. Luke 10:5-6

I usually will say a prayer to bless their spirit to nurture their heart, mind, body and soul and give them discernment of truth of the gospel.

I hope that’s helpful and encourages you to go to the scriptures and really understand Saul’s transformation in this light. He repented and then was surrendered to being taught for years. This gives us power to pray in a way that truly brings transformation for us, and that transformation within us is what can change the World.

Please let go of this powerless prayer and learn to pray blessings over your enemy, not to go against their free will, but to bless them to have their spirit minister to all of them. It’s good to pray this over yourself too.

My prayer for you

And for those who are believers, “I bless your spirit to be led by the Holy Sprit to nurture your heart, mind, body and soul that whatever false teachings and doctrines you have believed will be revealed and broken off of you in the Holy Name of Jesus. All for the Glory of the Lord and for His Kingdom to Come to Earth as it is in heaven. Amen”
          – Lovingly, JoElle, Founder of Ipseity Approach™ 

Choose your ending “IM” vs “OR”

Are you a victIM or a victOR? 

This teaching is meant to help you to engage in reading the WORD. My prayer is that you can see from this study the grave importance of KNOWING the Word for yourself. It is very important that you do not take anyone else’s word for it. It is wonderful to listen to teachings, but you must know the Word well enough to know when you are being led astray. 

I encourage you to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom and discernment of what you are reading. It is important to get training in how to read the Word and apply it to your life in order to become a disciple of Jesus. 

TEST THE SCRIPTURES FOR YOURSELF! 

1 Thessalonians 5:21 – Amplified Bible But test all things carefully [so you can recognize what is good]. Hold firmly to that which is good.

Acts 17:11 Now the Bereans were more noble-minded than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if these teachings were true.

1 John 4:1 Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God. For many false prophets have gone out into the world.

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

1 Corinthians 14:29 Two or three prophets should speak, and the others should weigh carefully what is said.

Philippians 1:9-10 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, / so that you may be able to test and prove what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ,

May you be richly blessed and washed in His Word!

Shalom, Joelle

For more information, concerns or to request copies of this teaching. Please email Joelle at joelle@thepeacekeepher.com

Disclaimer: The content on this site reflects the author’s research, study, and personal insights within the Ipseity Approach™ framework. It is offered for educational and inspirational purposes only and is not intended as medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice. Readers are encouraged to prayerfully discern and seek professional counsel where appropriate.

Copyright Notice: © 2013-2025 Mary Jo Ellen Orn, Ipseity Approach™, Restful Reset™, Rapid Anxiety Relief™. All rights reserved. No part of this content may be copied, reproduced, or distributed in any form without the express written permission of the author.